if you fall it will be into my arms.

so I was sitting down talking to my bestfriends this morning, and I told them, look at what I sent [my boyfriend] this morning. & my friend katie says “alright, let’s see what you texted someone that doesn’t deserve a text from you.”
- its hard being in love when no one approves. but this isn’t the 1500’s so no ones gonna stop us from being with each other. and I really think the thing is that we both deserve better. but we’re in love with each other, so for now, he’s mine and I’m his. and we sure as hell don’t care what they think

sometimes I wonder what the hell im doing… I hangout with people that fucked me over, I keep taking a jerk back when he comes crawling and begging for forgiveness, I keep doing all the things that disappoints my parents, I never focus on the things that really matter. I keep making the same promises and I keep breaking them. I always fail to realize that what I’m doing is wrong. I judge, bitch & criticize, when it’a other people that should judge, bitch and criticize me. that’s what I deserve for being so fucking stupid.
summers about to be here, I’m not sure if I’m excited or not. It’s gonna be so different from last year, and the thought of that kind of scares me..

I miss every single day of 2011. I doesn’t matter how many days I wasted crying, at least I knew you were mine back then. I didn’t have to worry about who my real friends are, or be scared of the thought that one day I will grow apart from the people that mean oh, so much to me. but now… I’ve lost you, them, myself. I’ve fallen apart, gotten up, & fallen apart again. I thought there would be an end, or just a small downhill moment, but there isn’t, don’t fool yourself. you’ll never actually feel better than you do now, you will just learn to live with this feeling, you’ll learn to put it away. you’ll learn how to stash away your feelings, you’ll stop letting people in, & let them get to know you, because after all, you now know that they dont care, not at all.
good luck.